[Only Ewan's doctor can read this entry.]

I found my telescope today.



I thought I had gotten rid of it before they took me from the house, but I guess they just sort of...hid it from me, or something. Or maybe it was laying around, when I was at the first hospital, but I was too drowsy to even notice it was there.

I can't even remember what my doctor looked like, in that place. It's like, those years of my life just blurred together. It's almost like they never even existed. I do remember hearing a woman's voice a lot...so I'm just assuming that was my doctor, but I don't remember anything she ever said to me, or anything I ever said to her. Did she even know about the telescope? Why would she have let me keep it if she knew about it? I don't want it.


It just makes me wonder what else is in this room. All I ever grab from my drawers is clean clothes.


Speaking of clothes, I've lost too much weight, and now I can't even fit into my Dad's jeans without tying the belt really tight. I've just been wearing drawstrings a lot...since they make up most of my wardrobe, anyway. I got a lot from the different hospitals I've been to, since I have no clothes of my own that fit me. The last time I had my own clothes, I was 17.


That was almost 10 years ago.

10 years, and still, no one will believe a word of what I say! Do they think I make it up to be funny? The sky is falling, and no one seems to care!


They'll believe me when the sky falls on someone they know...when it ruins everything for them, and then they can sit in a mental hospital, locked in their room for weeks, wondering when it's going to be their time to go!

AND THEN I'M JUST GOING TO LAUGH AT THEM, BECAUSE I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL THEM ALL ALONG, BUT NO ONE WILL LISTEN! EVERYONE JUST THINKS I'M CRAZY, BUT I KNOW WHAT I SAW! I DIDN'T MAKE IT UP!





I'm going to go and look for my inhaler, and then lay down...maybe if I go to sleep, I won't notice when the sky falls, and it won't hurt so bad.